If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
