We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
