so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
