is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
