dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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