Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
What a dumb baby whore.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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