Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
