hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
