good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
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He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
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I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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