We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
