Apparently you make a good broom.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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