hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
