Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
