just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
