We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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