Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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