fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
