...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
