You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
