Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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