I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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