I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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