Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
