We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Sorry about my life...
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
