i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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