I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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