It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
