i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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