He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
