I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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