Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
