I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
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How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
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I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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