did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
our cab driver is having phone sex.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
