Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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