two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
