Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
