Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
