Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
