I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
