Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So much rum. So many feels.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
