I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize
