I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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