Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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