brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
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