your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
