Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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