in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
