just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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