she woke up with a sticky ear
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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