I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
