Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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