So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
