There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize