Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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