How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
