Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
