Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
