Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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