he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
