check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
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