did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
