Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
