I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
