Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
