I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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