I think I just saw someone hide a body.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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