I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
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im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
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Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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