im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I will die if light touches me.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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