I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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